Love “seeketh not her own…” (1 Corinthians 13:5, KJV).

I had a very humbling and eye-opening experience this past Sunday. I had become upset with my husband for all the right reasons, so I thought. And as I sat in church on Sunday, it’s as though the Lord pulled back a veil and let me see the true reasons I was upset. It wasn’t because I wanted to the best for my husband. It wasn’t because I wanted the best for God. It was because I wanted the best for myself. My heart was broken. I was humbled. I repented and I was changed.

I have read many books on marriage. I have taken, with my husband, a few marriage classes. I have heard pastors and counselors comment on what is most damaging to a marriage. And the consensus seems to be that the most damaging thing to a marriage is selfishness. And selfishness is in direct opposition to the God kind of love.

This experience started in me a most interesting train of thought. Our commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength and to love our neighbor as we do ourselves. Obviously to truly love others we cannot cater to our own selfish desires. Our relationships with others have to be about loving them without any thought for what they can do for us.

Now, what about loving God? Do we love Him because of what He can do for us?

A friend gave me a book I am reading today. It is called “Experiencing The Depths Of Jesus Christ” by Jeanne Guyon. And I just came across a section that speaks of this very thing. Jeanne Guyon writes:

…I would like to talk with you just a moment about the motive of your heart in your seeking the Lord.

After all, why do you come to the Lord? Do you come to Him for the sweetness? Do you come to Him because it is enjoyable to be in the Lord’s presence? Let me recommend a higher way.

As you come to the Lord to pray, bring a full heart of pure love, a love that is not seeking anything for itself. Bring a heart that is seeking nothing from the Lord, but desires only to please Him and to do His will.

…as you come to your Lord to pray, do not come for spiritual enjoyment. Do not even come to experience your Lord.

Then what? Come just to please Him.

In a time of prayer yesterday, I began to think about Jesus coming for His Bride. He has obviously loved her and given His all for her. But has she loved Him and given her all for Him?

In Ephesians 5 we see the love that should exist between husbands and wives and it goes on to tell us that this is the relation between Christ and the church. Has the church loved Him unselfishly? Have we as individual members of the Body of Christ loved Him the way He deserves to be loved? Unconditionally and unselfishly.

On Sunday I was very surprised by what I saw in my heart in my relationship with my husband. It changed me. Now today I search my heart in my relationship with God. Perhaps today we should each search our own hearts towards our King and let the love between us be purified.