Two Little Lights

In October of 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Quite honestly I did not know that until this morning when I looked it up. I didn’t even really realize that this month was dedicated to remembering until a few days ago. Then my Facebook feed filled up with remembrances. It seemed a bit familiar like I’d seen this sometime last year and the year before. But I really didn’t pay much attention to it. Sorry, but it’s the truth.

So two weeks ago the stories, the articles, the remembrances started filling my FB feed and I started reading. With each one the tears began to flow. You see I have suffered from infertility for 21 years now. I had a miscarriage, my only known pregnancy in 1996. Two years ago I underwent fertility treatments that were unsuccessful. I know how you feel.

The fertility treatment process was such a blur, so much paperwork, so many needles, so many exams. I was giving myself 3 injections a day for awhile and my husband was giving me the fourth injection of the day. I was on the maximum doses of each drug due to not responding to the lower doses. Talk about hormones!!! I had them in abundance. It wasn’t easy for me or my husband. He was a supportive sweetheart though.

We finally ended up with two little embryos ready for transfer. I received a call each day letting me know of their progress as we awaited transfer. Then one day they called. One of the embryos is doing great. The other not so great so they discarded it. Something died inside. I didn’t know that was an option. I guess it was somewhere in all that paperwork we signed. I was devastated.

We still had one little embryo. It was transferred. Two weeks later I received a call saying your pregnancy test is negative. You are not pregnant. Once again something died inside. I was never the same… until now.

With all the stories, articles, and remembrances. Those dead places began to ache. I decided to talk to someone about it. First she listened and then with God’s leading she began to instruct me on what questions to ask God and let Him give me the answers.

I don’t feel the need to share all of what transpired. But the last question she had me ask brought life, healing, peace and joy again to those dead places inside. Here is the question?

“Ask God where those two embryos are now.”

I began to cry. I heard God’s voice say, “They are with Me.” I then saw a picture in my mind. It was God holding two little lights. I began to weep as I realized that in my mind they had been two little dead embryos. They are alive and not dead.

Because it wasn’t a baby that I carried in my body for weeks or months I didn’t stop to think about them being alive or dead. I didn’t allow myself to grieve as though I had lost a child. But in the absence of thinking about it and processing the grief I allowed a picture of two little dead embryos to take up residence in my mind and my heart.

As soon as I saw those two little lights I felt a great sadness lift. I felt the ache in my heart drain. I felt peace and joy again.

I’m actually a very private person. God and my closest friends know my struggles, but today I felt like I needed to share this because someone else needs to hear this. Someone else needs to replace that image of death and darkness with light and life.

I understand. I am praying for you. You are loved… whoever you are.

My Only Hope

…but Hannah had no children. (1 Samuel 1:2, KJV)

And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore. (1 Samuel 1:10, KJV)

Hannah became pregnant and in due time bore a son and named him Samuel [heard of God]… (1 Samuel 1:20, Amplified)

After years of barrenness, God was Hannah’s only hope. Without God she had no hope. Without God she had no son. But with God all things are possible (Matt. 19:26).

And it came to pass, when Joseph was come unto his brethren, that they stripped Joseph out of his coat… And they took him, and cast him into a pit… (Genesis 37:23-24, KJV)

…and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites… (Genesis 37:28, KJV)

And Joseph’s master took him, and put him into the prison… But the LORD was with Joseph… (Genesis 39:20-21, KJV)

And Pharaoh said to Joseph… You shall have charge over my house, and all my people shall be governed according to your word… (Genesis 1:40-41, Amplified)

Joseph had a dream, but he ended up in prison. There would have been no hope of fulfilling his dream now. No hope for getting out of that prison. But God was with Him. God was Joseph’s only hope and Joseph went from prison to second in command of the nation of Egypt and fulfilled his dream.

And, behold, there came a leper and worshiped him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean. And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will; be thou clean. And immediately his leprosy was cleansed. (Matthew 7:2-3, KJV)

He had an incurable disease. He had no hope until he saw Jesus. And with a touch and a word he was healed!

What impossible situation are you facing today? Let Him be your only hope and see the impossible become your reality!

[For Abraham, human reason for] hope being gone, hoped in faith that he should become the father of many nations… (Romans 4:18, Amplified)

For in You, O Lord, do I hope… (Psalm 38:15, Amplified)

A Dream

Sometimes I just have to smile when I think about some of the things that inspire me to write. Today it is the song from Disney’s Cinderella.

A dream is a wish your heart makes,
When you’re fast asleep,
In Dreams you will lose your heartaches,
Whatever you wish for you keep.

Have Faith in your dreams and someday,
Your Rainbow will come smiling through.

No matter how your heart is grievin,
If you keep on believing,
The dream that you wish will come true.

Uhmm, has anyone else besides me found this to NOT be true. Sorry to burst some bubbles out there, but it just doesn’t happen this way. Today I want to take a look at three little words, they are wish, hope, and faith. I believe they will help you to figure out the fact from the fiction so that your dreams really can come true.

The American Dictionary of the English Language by Noah Webster, 1828 says the word wish can be defined as having a “strong desire, either for what is or is not supposed to be obtainable”. It goes on to say, “We often wish for what is not obtainable”.

Webster’s (1828) defines the word hope as “a desire of some good, accompanied with at least a slight expectation of obtaining it, or a belief that it is obtainable.”

Finally, the word faith is defined as “Belief; the assent of the mind to the truth of what is declared by another, resting on his authority and veracity, without other evidence; the judgement that what another states or testifies is the truth.” Once again in the Webster’s 1828.

Now, the word wish was only used in the King James Bible nine times. And even in those uses, it did not mean what that word means to us today. One well known verse is 3 John 2.

Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. (KJV)

There is a footnote for this word and it says that this word can be translated as pray. It is translated this way in other translations.

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in every way and [that your body] may keep well, even as [I know] your soul keeps well and prospers. (Amplified)

Now the word hope is found in the Bible 130 times, while the word faith is used 247 times. Let’s take a look at one well-known verse that contains both these words.

NOW FAITH is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1, KJV)

Hoping for something, does not produce it. It is the blueprint but not the substance. But it is a necessary part of the process of bringing the unseen into the seen.

But when you set your faith on the things God has said in His word, now there is substance to those things you have hoped for.

Let’s take a look at Sarah. She had wished for; she had longed for; she had desired and hoped to have a child. Yet after years of wishing and hoping her arms were still empty. But then God gave her husband a promise. Now her hope and faith had something to work with.

And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac… (Genesis 17:19, KJV)

At first Sarah just laughed it off, but over time, something happened in her heart. That promise from God took root in her heart. She got to know the One Who promised. Suddenly this wasn’t something she just wished for. It was no longer something she just hoped for. She had a blueprint from God. That hope began to take on substance through faith in God.

Through faith also Sarah herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. (Hebrews 11:11, KJV)

Because of faith also Sarah herself received physical power to conceive a child, even when she was long past the age for it, because she considered [God] Who had given her the promise to be reliable and trustworthy and true to His word. (Hebrews 11:11, Amplified)

It was no longer just a dream, a wish and a hope, it was a promise from a faithful God. She believed God. In her heart and in her mind, in her spirit and in her soul she assented to the truth of what God declared, resting on His authority and His veracity, without other evidence. She didn’t need any other evidence, just God’s word. Now, that’s faith!

And that faith in His word became the substance of that which she had hoped for and her arms were no longer empty. Her dream had come true by her faith in God and His word.

…be it unto me according to thy word. (Luke 1:37, KJV)

The Power of Love

A friend sent me an article and it so epitomized the love of God that I wanted to share it with you. 

…if we try to influence or elevate others, we shall soon see that success is in proportion to their belief of our belief in them. For the respect of another is the first restoration of the self-respect a man has lost; our ideal of what he is becomes to him the hope and pattern of what he may become. (Henry Drummond, The Greatest Thing in the World, 1891)

…You have loved back my life from the pit of corruption and nothingness, for You have cast all my sins behind Your back. (Isaiah 38:17, Amplified)

Click on the link below to read the article: 

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373

Believe the best of someone today. Let Him love back their lives through you.